POO!

DEATH TO THOSE WHO DON'T FLING POO

2006-12-02T02:42:19Z


my status

my team status

infection status

game status

I still poo, but even a Minkey gets constipated

2004-08-31T16:44:46Z

Well I used to wake the morning before the rooster crowed
Searching for the exlax box to get myself to flow
Bought 'em down at the corner, down at the country store
Skip home and eat the whole box and wait for my ass to throw

My ass is a white one with dark curly hair
When I was sittin' on the throne I did not have a care
I used to own an enema bag, used to use it constantly
I'd give the old bag some fleet and I'd poo all day with glee

(Chorus)
Play me a song Mr Ass, Mr Ass

I got your exlax comin, tune up your asshole
People said it was nasty, them people are the fools
'Cause my ass is the finest pooter to ever play the poos

my dog eats poo

2002-09-01T15:49:44Z

We don`t need no metimucil
We don`t need no poo control
Give me dark sarcasm in the bathroom
Doggy, leave them turds alone
Hey! DOGGY! Leave them turds alone!
All in all it`s just another poo eatin' dog.
All in all you`re just another poo eatin' dog.

this journal is NOT a joke

2002-08-22T19:55:12Z

everbody stop gettin' your poo all up inna wad here. poo is good. poo represents the end life cycle of everthing you ate. you loved it goin' in, love it goin' out.

and while you're at it, take a look at tmi_chix (i can't, on accounta i got big ol' monkey balls.) where you'll find educational stuff like this: http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?journal=tmi_chix&itemid=46768 or go say hi to poopdiary, lots of poo goodness there.

an' remember kids, wadded poo hurts on the way down.

The truth about Farts

2002-07-15T16:55:06Z

Farts are the sounds and smells of extra gas making a run for it thru your large intestine and out your poo-shooter. Toots are actually the result of a chemical process that goes on in your lower intestine or your colon. Colon bacteria breaks down carbohydrates found in certain foods (like beans, broccoli and onions) and this breakdown produces hydrogen, carbon dioxide and methane gas...the gas that needs to escape. When this gas escapes, you fart. The fart-causing bacteria comes in many different types and YOUR personal amount of gas usually depends upon the mix of bacteria in your own colon. Make sense? See, that's totally why some people are virtual fart-machines and other people only fart on occasion! (Fact: boys fart more than girls. No joke!)

The average person burps or farts 14-23 times a day! The average burpy and farty person actually produces about a quart of both non-smelling and supersmelling gas a day.

If you have not noticed by now, some of the aforementioned fumes are flammable, like methane and oxygen, so you can, in fact, burn farts. Yes, you can set them aflame; it is not a myth, and a great way to impress the girls too...

Some people cut the cheese more than others. Grandpa's finger is not special; his condition could be a result of a few factors. Here is a small list of different causes of flatulence:

1. Consuming too many carbs
Of the three main nutrients, carbohydrates produce the most gas because sugar and starch easily ferment. Half of us are endowed with bacteria that particularly prefer munching on unprocessed carbs -- unless you are like me, in which case tuna does the trick. As you might have guessed, beans contain more indigestible carbohydrates than most foods.

2. Consuming indigestible foods
Many daily foods are considered "indigestible" -- milk being one of them. Cow milk is unnatural to the human body, which is why a lot of people are lactose intolerant. Lactose intolerance means the body does not know how to digest milk, so it sets it aside as waste. If you happen to have a lot of "gas enzymes" in your system and you are lactose intolerant, even milk can make you fart.

3. Excessive enzymes
Each person's intestinal fauna is composed differently so people do not react similarly to the same foods. Two individuals can eat a meal rich in indigestible carbs and only one of them can develop gas, simply because his intestinal tract contains more enzymes. You might have heard people say that onions or apples give them gas, while others claim not to be affected. It all depends on the amount and type of bacteria in the large intestine.

4. Chewing and swallowing air
Chewing your food properly helps prevent gas because you alleviate your tract's workload, while chewing gum gives people flatulence because it makes them swallow more air than usual and because it animates the digestive system. Sometimes you burp, but other times air goes too deep into the digestive tract, leaving only one alternative: farting.

5. Intestinal infections
Finally, certain forms of intestinal infections cause flatulence. Eating contaminated food or drinking contaminated water will cause loose stools, bloating, cramps, and gas. When a person has an intestinal infection, the lining of the intestinal track thins and nutrients, again, get sent to the large intestine without being absorbed.

Goodness

2002-05-08T23:52:22Z

Shelly's diet pre-pregnancy consisted of the following :

raw chicken carcasses
raw chicken heads
raw beef liver (a couple of tablespoons a week)
2-3 raw eggs a week (home raised chickens)
raw meaty lamb bones
raw whole fish (3 times a week)
pulped veggies twice a week
pig's feet - once every couple of weeks

Wha? I didn't do it.

some say da poo is near

2002-04-29T15:59:02Z

you all's gotta die.
i'm sorry, but you all suck poo.

now don't be all goofy-assed and be a dead talkin' person cause that just annoys the shit out of me.

just be a good dead person and there will finally be peace around des farts.

Some say the poo is near
Some say we'll see constipation soon.
I certainly hope we will.
I sure could use a vacation from this
Minkeyshit three ring circus sideshow of
Drama-Freaks

Here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LJ
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
Any fucking time. Any fucking day.
Learn to rim, I'll see you down in Get A Life Bay.

Fret for your figure and
Fret for your party and
Fret for your break up and
Fret for your friends list and
Fret for your prozac and
Fret for your diet and
Fret for your gossip and
Fret for your war

It's a Minkeylshit three ring circus sideshow of
Drama-Freaks

Some say a big turd will fall from the sky.
Followed by golden showers and sewer waves.
Followed by yappy mouths who must gossip spill
Followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshits

One great big festering LJ distraction.
I've a suggestion to keep you all occupied.

Learn to RIM

Mom's gonna fix it all soon.
Mom's coming round to put it back the way it ought to be.

Learn to RIM

Fuck Drama Queens and
Fuck all her clones
Fuck all these gum-smacking
camgirl wannabes.

Learn to RIM

Fuck drama anything
Fuck your boohoos
Fuck all you donkeys and
Fuck your "it wasn't me's"

Learn to RIM

Fuck smiley emoticons
with hidden agendas.
Fuck these dysfunctional,
insecure actresses

Learn to RIM

Cuz I'm praying for pain
I'm praying for sewer waves
I wanna see the drama give way
I wanna watch it all go down
Mom please flush it all away
I wanna watch it go right in and down
I wanna watch it go right in
Watch you flush it all away

Time to bring it down again.
Don't just call me a poo fetish
Try and read between the lines

I can't imagine why you wouldn't
welcome any change my friend

I wanna see it all come down
suck it down
Flush it down.

flinging_minkey @ 2002-04-27T13:50:00

2002-04-27T17:56:01Z

all week i collected large amounts of poo in preparation of the big FLING POO night.

WHAT A NIGHT!

people love it when they get that unsuspected suprise fling poo party. OH DON'T CRY ABOUT IT! THAT'S WHAT SHOWERS ARE FOR!

would you like some poo?

flinging_minkey @ 2002-04-09T09:12:00

2002-04-09T13:17:20Z

all the womens wanna suck on my minkey winker.

YA CRAZIES, i'm not even the right SPECIES!

flinging_minkey @ 2002-04-06T10:08:00

2002-04-06T15:12:44Z

There is a large poo following on LiveJournal! It warms my Minkey heart.
scarlete made this for me to help celebrate Minkey Month!

Up on our housetop
our breaf does pause
Out jumps.. Ack! It's Minkey Claws!
Down past the gutters
with lots of poo
all for us if we don't move!
EEP EEP EEP
Run, doncha know?!
EEP EEP EEP
Run, doncha know?!
Run for cover
quick, quick quick!
and duck if you don't want any
poo to stick!

Fling some poo!